Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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