We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
