God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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