3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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