Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
