She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
