I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
