Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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