Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
