the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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