They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
