I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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