I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
