i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
