Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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