Don't you send me to vm
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
