where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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