Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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