So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
