You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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