Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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