thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
