Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
