i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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