it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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