I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Floor bacon is actually really good
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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