dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
