"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
