he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
