grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
