new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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