I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
