Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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