So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
