need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
