I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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