That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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