the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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