Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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