i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
