the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I will be naked everywhere
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
