Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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