YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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