Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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