You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's never too late to be topless.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
