i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
