You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
