You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
