Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
