I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
