week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
